Annoying Anime Syndromes

I’m very particular with what I watch and view.My time is precious to me so I don’t to waste it watching crap.Now I am not an anime expert, I don’t watch it that often nor do I particularly hunt it out.However during my very brief experience with the subject some rather stupid and obvious practices see to always appear.

To me, 99% of anime today is crap. Don’t get me wrong there are some gems out there but they’re few and far between. I’ve found in my watching that there seem to be common syndromes that affect most anime series and movies for some reason. Whether it’s by design or just coincidence I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s annoying. Most anime today suffers from too much GTA, LTK, and SICS.

The largest abuse by far is in the GTA category; Gratuitous Tits and Ass. No matter what the situation, robot wars, ninja fighting action, freezing cold tundra, whatever; the main “chick” character is almost always in a skin-tight outfit busting out all over. While nice in glimpses, sticking it in my face for the entire length of the series or anime bouncing at ever ripple or bump she goes over isn’t winning me over.

Why do their uniforms have to be so different from their male counterparts? What’s the damn point? Yes wow they have large tits and a nice ass. So what?! How does that help them “solve” whatever the main problem is?! If I want to watch porn, I’ll watch porn. Don’t mix in porn with my action movies; it takes away from both.

LTK is Little Kid Syndrome. Throughout anime there is this “need” to put in little children who often bother or get the main character in trouble enough. Usually they come to the main character through some tragedy like loosing their parents or become lost or some other lame excuse for them to tag along. They are usually accompanied by a pet or favorite robotic toy that also causes problems.

“Snuffles! No we can’t leave Snuffles!” “Wow your awesome Rambo. When I grow up I want to be just like you..”

Every time I see one of these kids, I keep thinking to myself field goal. I’d love to see one of these kids walk up in the middle of the briefing on how to save the world only to have the main character line up and kick them right back through the door. After the kind goes flying trough the uprights, everyone in the room puts their hands up in triumph shouting “Two Points”!

Finally but certainly not least is Stupid Idiot Character Syndrome. This common affliction surfaces in different forms in anime. It could be someone who constantly is “afraid” or “scared” and they start pushing buttons or crashing into everything while everyone is trying to maintain a low profile.

It could a moron commander on a large space gun platform who tells his people to keep firing the big gun even though ever gauge in the place and every officer and solider tells him “Don’t pull the trigger. If you pull the trigger, we will all die. If you just wait like 30 seconds for the gun to cool down, we can keep firing.” “Keep firing assholes! “; and then he goes and pulls the trigger.

There are many variations on the theme but the end result is this character panics or does something completely beyond reasonable 5 year old child logic what they should be doing. Thus their actions cause death and destruction for others while still keeping themselves alive and out of trouble. They’re favorite line is “I’m I was just trying to help.” SICS not only strikes anime but many other genres of media.

Luckily I have found an easy solution to many of these problems. DON’T WATCH CRAP THAT DOES THIS. What scares me is that some of the most popular anime movies and series out there have tons of these elements in them. Thankfully there are plenty of other quality shows and series in anime that don’t’ follow this pattern. Two that come to my mind are Akira and Venus Wars. Unfortunately I haven’t found any other titles that fill the bill for now. Until I find the next one, I’ll continue to wander the isles of Best Buy bypassing 99% of the crap they have on their shelves.

Note: Just so my fans don’t think I’m loosing my mind, there is another VERY popular malady that I didn’t mention here; MSS. Mysterious Stranger Syndrome is too complex and large to discuss here so I’m devoting in the future.